the joys and pains of a mom

Knowing for the first time i was actually having a baby in my womb was both exciting and fearful..the thoughts came rushing: what will happen to me? what am i gonna do with this baby? am i gonna be a good mom? or will i ever learn how to be one? The first few weeks of really seeing a baby and realizing it actually to have come out from my own body was terrifying for me. Now, this is reality here and i had to be in it regardless whether i was ready or not...and it was not at all really hard to be one. What with God's infinite, amazing works! A mother is the perfect design of a nurturing, caring and loving piece of creation God has so perfectly designed for such specific purpose. I wonder how , in the world, there a few moms out there who can't (or won't?) be what they are supposed to be...God is always a willing God who extends help and aide whenever i cry out to Him, as in anything!

But being a mom doesn't end or stop there..it's just began.. I have three beautiful, wonderful girls and i am dealing with three different persons. Each of them is distinctly crafted by the Creator, and specifically designed for His own purpose and intention. How do i make this known to them? Tough one, huh?...

Love is first and foremost the essence of being a mother. The definition of it comes next. The manifestations- showing, giving and sharing follow. Still not an instantaneous thing to do, but can be mastered in time...and i intend to get there. More than just showing and giving it, i think the hardest part is understanding these children just because i love them even beyond reasons. There is and will always be a provision for consideration whenever they step one line across the border of discipline and character. After all, i can pull them back, anyway, if force be the answer . That is one privilege a mom has (at least, for me). To put one foot forward and take that solid stand for a "no!" if and when needed. All of them say I am more stern when it comes to discipline and character building. It has always been clear to them what the rules are in and outside the house. How to conduct themselves among them, siblings, around relatives, amidst friends, acquaintances and strangers and most especially with the elders and authorities and men and women in uniforms.

Yes, they are allowed to make mistakes but only to learn from them. Doing it twice is intentional, thrice is stupidity. They neither want to be called deliberate wrongdoers nor dumb sinners, so i guess stubbornness is not really a main concern for us. Thank God.. Being heard by us, parents, whether in arguments or disputes, defense of offense or plainly reasoning out, or airing an opinion - they are all free to do these. I am most interested hearing them say their piece for i get to learn a lot from them. Imagine having a vivid scene of their minds, what actually is brewing in there and how they actually display them. Sounds very interesting to me. Wonders of all wonders, i am surprised to hear things and thoughts i never imagine hearing from them. What with the old fashioned, old school i was raised up from..no way i can say a word when my aunts speak. I can only listen and say one word : yes (or opo). That is why i am giving my children the right to speak up their minds. This is communication in action. Love is an active thing, it is a verb, not a noun. It should be filled with adjectives and is not restricted with tenses. It must be progressive, not passive. But must always be completed or ended with respect. Respect for opinion and person.

So, what are the joys and pains of being a mom?
First, the joys:
hearing their first cry after delivery getting sure they're alive and strong
being recognized the first time as the mom and was actually called "mama" by my baby
seeing my baby dependent and helpless without me
giving them the immunization and booster shots they need to keep them from getting sick
feeding them every spoon of food they need to grow and actually see how they grow in my care
their first visit to the dentist
talking to them in words they can understand with
realizing they believe every word i say i better be careful
discovering they do eavesdropping the best i have to watch my choice of words
knowing it's not as hard as i think learning school stuff for them is
being firm in instilling moral values early on for they will carry it their entire life
hearing them say they made friends in school
getting a call from their teacher asking me and daddy to attend their recognition day we have to pin them a medal
trying on them beginner's bra
running to me scared and excited they got their period for the first time
worried, they get the zits and acne they all hate to see in their face, and finding all treatments and beauty products to eliminate them
going to the couturier for their prom gown
the first trip to the dermatologist
revealing who their prom date would be
listening to them describe their first crush
having a male guest in the house looking for my eldest then a college junior
knowing she turned down the guy, he's not her type
attending graduations-preschool, elementary, college
having their friends sleep over for they are not allowed to do that
getting a chance to speak with their friends and giving them piece of advice as per my daughters' advise
accompanying my girls, one by one, each her own time, to the church altar to receive Christ in their hearts for the first time
watching them join "youth camp" and ministries, to be of service for God
seeing them grow in the knowledge of the Word of God
hearing them share their faith to relatives and friends
having them as source of strength and encouragement when i'm down and dissappointed
rebuking me for my attitude and harsh words i don't really mean, but uttered just the same
getting a hug and a kiss from each of them whenever they leave and arrive home
sunday lunch out with the family
shopping with them at a mall or a grocery store
trying out with them anything new-food, shampoo, books, resto, malls, music, etc
watching them enjoying the food i cook
talking to them after each meal, telling them jokes they find me so funny like i'm not the mom
staying another hour in the dining table after dinner just talking
belting it out with them the "magic sing"
watching dvd's with them on a lazy sunday afternoon.
hearing their applause, i made it across the pool floating
making them pulvuron and handing them down tried and tested recipes
putting up the Christmas tree
going to my mother in law's house on Christmas eve for dinner and rushing home before twelve
counting down the clock to twelve on Christmas eve
opening gifts on Christmas eve
again, counting down the clock to twelve on new year's day and having champagne, cheese and cold cuts from santi's
...and anything and everything that makes me a mom...


there are pains,too...
finding ways to make them comfortable during sleepless nights
wishing their sleeping habits as a baby return to normal so they'll feel better
hearing them cry because they're not well
seeing them fall for the first time after the first few steps
knowing they can't eat because they're sick
not knowing where it hurts when they cry they can't talk yet
trying not to cry when they do during immunizations and ear piercings
giving them solid foods for the first time i didn't know if it hurt the tongue or what, their faces turn sour
replacing the feeding bottles to glass trainers for the first time, they look for the taste and smell of the teats, they miss it so much
the agony of putty training, they want the diapers instead
the long baths they're trying to do on their own, i wish they get chills sometimes
when they want their way and throw weight around, i wish they're still not talking (joke)
the fights as to what is appropriate to wear, when and where
the shoes gone small (they've outgrown) but still want to wear
the favorite shirt they wish would not get dirty at all
the security pillow (unan baho)
the first day in school- it appears the doomsday for them
when they want me to stay in the classroom and the teacher wants me out
the teacher wants me out of sight of my baby!
my baby desperately looking for me and cries her heart out not seeing me
someone in the class bullied her i want to kill the kid
a classmate grab her baon/food
she wasn't called when she raised her hand to recite
she can do certain things on her own i don't feel needed at times
she chooses her own outfit
she wants her own room without me in it
sometimes moody, sometimes sweet (can't she stay just sweet?)
telling me she's not the crush of her crush
wanting a pair of shoes and not finding her size
wishing all her baby fats gone and me wishing i'm a genie
seeing her sad because of pimples breaking through her face
feeling the pain of acne surgery being done on them
wishing you could have their menstrual cramps instead
seeing boys looking at my girls maliciously
realizing my baby turned lady is now in danger of "falling in love"
knowing puppy love is not true love and finding it hard to make them believe me
seeing them cry because of a guy for the first time
knowing they are hurt because they've fallen in love
painstakingly explaining that pain is part of love...
that sometimes, it takes a little sacrifice on their part (but i'm afraid they'd overdo it)
fearing a guy would take advantage of their being nice
seeing them inching little by little away
telling me one day her boyfriend is leaving he needed to stay in the states
seeing her cry everyday and every night because she's sad and misses him
when arguments arise between us because of differing opinion and personality
one of them snapped back at me
i kept quiet believing she didn't mean it
she didn't and said sorry,painful still, but had to happen for that's what life is
a confession of sin committed by them
the fear of not being enough for them
the thought of loosing them to those who will really own them
the reality that no matter how close and attached we are to each other, they will still go on with their own lives without me.
that no matter how much i love them, i will let them go and let them be even if i don't agree
that i am just a mere vessel of nurture and care God has intended every parent to be
though i am my children's parent and have authority over them, God has authority over me
whether i like it or not, God has the final say regarding my children
it may be painful for a mom, but that's what moms are called for..to endure..

CHILDREN ARE A GIFT FROM GOD. THEY ARE TRUE BLESSINGS IF WE CONSIDER THEM AS SUCH, REGARDLESS IF THEY ARE A SOURCE OF JOY AND PRIDE OR PAIN AND SADNESS. THEY WILL BE WHAT THEY WILL BE ACCORDING TO HOW AND WHAT WE MOLD THEM WITH. BEING A MOTHER IS A PRIVILEGE. IT IS A TRUST BETWEEN GOD AND HER.