"I ASK GOD"

PSALMS 27:1 - The Lord is my LIGHT and my salvation - whom shall i fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall i be afraid?

ROMANS1:16 - I am not ashamed of the gospel for it is the power (MIGHT) of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the jew, then for the gentile.

The Lord Jesus Christ is my LIGHT AND MIGHT. He has taken me out of darkness into His light so that i can see and experience His might.


If there's one question i've been longing to ask GOD and was given the chance to ask HIM now, i would ask "When will my trials and testings ever end?"...and if he's ever gonna answer, i would want Him to give me a very clear and certain answer that would leave me satisfied and not wanting for more.
This is not the first time i asked Him that. Unmindful of both my question and His answer, i realized my question was never really answered specifically, but instead, He bombards me with assurances that are easy to understand with the human intellect but hardest to embrace with the believer's heart. Ironic? Yes!.. and that's me; me, who claims to be a child of god; me, who doesn't see God when i'm in the middle of storm and in seemingly dark and lonely nights. I did not see Him glowing there because i anticipate Him to a blazing fire that must engulf my darkness... I missed His whisper and gentle voice so many times because i was waiting for His thunderous shout as a response to my desperate cries.
But am i really ready to listen? I guess, the willingness of my spirit was taken over by the pain and sadness my heart goes through, and i failed to see God. How can i measure the magnitude of His greatness?..that even if i'm not ready or refuse to listen, He insistently pursues me, saying over and over, "Look around when you doubt. I am closer than you think." I will never be ready to hear Him out, especially so when I'm treading through tough times...I will always miss out His steps astriding mine if i remain in a state of desperation. But there is something in God that is His and His alone--HIS MAGNANIMITY!..Oh, sure , God! You're so huge, i cannot find You. You're anywhere and everywhere, but nowhere with me. Am i ready for this?...gently,as always, but firm and certain, He reminds me of Hebrews 11:1-"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."..and continues on, "I hear and see you saying this yourself and sharing to others the same. Where, now, is yours? when was the last time i failed you? or, did i ever?" "Continue to have faith and do what you know is right. Some people have rejected this, and their faith has been shipwrecked."(1Tim.1:19)
Here is God telling me to continue on with my faith as if i lost it somewhere...or have i not? Looking back and pondering through those painful tests, did i not, for a second, lose it when i asked "Why this again, God? Are you seeing this? If you are and you can, then do something!" The demand came as though God doesn't care...as if He leaves me for dead...But i'm not. And i realized i totally lost it...i screwed up! i sucked! I'm shameful!...yet God, in all that He is (so great, i can't imagine; not one or all words can sum Him up)prepares me, again, gently and ever patient, to listen and be ready for His ultimate answer to my question: Matthew 5:3-12 (The Beatitudes) and 1Cor.3:10-15.
Am i ready to embrace this truth(s)? To worship Him and magnify Him. I, as a human, have big worries, big problems and big questions, so i need a big GOD, a bigger view of Him. As i draw nearer to Him, He seems to get larger and unconsumable. As my vision of Him expands, so must my faith and hope in Him. Most of all, I am significant to Him not because of what i do, be it good or bad, but because of whose i am. I AM HIS.


14 august 2007